Creating a healthy marriage as a busy working mom

Creating a healthy marriage as a busy working mom

Marriage is tough. No one has to tell you that. You love your spouse with all your heart, but sometimes, he annoys you to the high heavens! And sometimes, Valentine's Day packs the pressure on. Are you supposed to buy something for your spouse every single year? How are you supposed to be creative? What if you're too busy or too tired to do something special? And what expectations are you supposed to have?

Well, forget Valentine's Day. Here are some simple tips to keep your marriage fresh and exciting all year long.

How to get a lot done in a short amount of time

How to get a lot done in a short amount of time

Most working moms have the same struggle- you have tons to accomplish, but you never have enough time. After a long day of work, you have to still cook dinner, clean the house, prep for the next day and somehow find time to bond with your family. Well here are some tips to help you get stuff done even though you don't have time.

4 Ways to avoid losing your identity

When I first became a mom, I threw myself into my mom duties really hard. I was young and determined to ensure that I was going to be the best mom ever. But the problem was that I totally neglected my needs to the point where I looked at myself in the mirror and could not recognize myself. Have you ever wondered why moms lose their identity? Well here's my take:

1) Take the time to shift your mindset: When you become a mom, it's important to realize that your life is going to change. Your life is no longer your own, you will get less sleep, you can't just pick up and leave whenever you want, your body will change in ways you never imagined and on and on it goes.

Now instead of fighting to maintain the identity you had before, realize that life as you know it has changed. Lean into your new identity, and find new ways to enjoy your new life. Yes you can't just pick up and go, so plan activities around your baby. Can't go to the movies? Plan an in home movie experience. Can't go to a concert? Invite some people over for a dance session when the baby is asleep. Find new things you like, try new experiences and let go of the old you. It's a lot easier that you think, I promise.

2) Get to know yourself: So of course the moment you become a mom, your life changes-we all know that. But you spend so much time being fixated on your new, sweet baby that you forget to create space for yourself. Motherhood changes us. Spend time creating new interests for yourself that can fit into your new schedule. It takes some getting used to but if you don't connect with yourself, you'll eventually wake up one morning and not know who you are.

3) Find other mom friends to connect with: When I became a mom, I found myself feeling isolated and frustrated. I felt like I had no one to talk to, all of my non mom friends could not relate to my struggles. Eventually I just gave up and decided to live in my own misery. Now what I should have done is, I should have persisted, and I should have found one or two moms who clicked with me. Isolation does you no good.

4) Don't struggle silently: So when you're having those difficult nights when your baby isn't sleeping, your breastmilk isn't coming out and you're just not feeling cute, say that to someone. This is how you can form connections with others. When you share your problems with others, you'll realize that they too might be going through the same thing.

What steps can you take to avoid losing your identity? 

How to Maintain A Clean, Organized Home

How to Maintain A Clean, Organized Home

Just about every working mom I know is always trying to figure out how to maintain a clean home. When you get home from work, there's nothing more annoying than stepping over toys, piles of unfolded laundry and looking at a filthy sink.

So I was talking to a friend of mine last week and she seemed to have a cleaning master plan down. Here are a few ideas to keep a clean, organized home even though you're a busy mama:

How to create supportive friendships

Life can get lonely as a busy working mom. From work, to school run,s to cleaning up after kids, it is easy to get into an isolated rut. Here are 5 easy ways to find and create supportive friendships so that you have someone around you to lean on.

1) Be open to new adventures: The first step is to be willing to step out of your mom bubble. It's really easy to get used to your daily routine. Be willing to try new things and go to places you normally wouldn't go. For example, if you're idea of fun is catching a movie, be willing to visit an escape room or joining a book club. That way you find other moms who can bring a little spice into your life.

2) Set clear boundaries: Although it's a great idea to try new activities and go to new places, know what you are absolutely not comfortable with and stick to it. That way you stay away from people who are way too adventurous or who participate in activities that make you cringe. So for example, if you're strictly into gospel music, don't even bother joining a women's hard rock club. It would only end in you being disappointed. And when your new found friends want to drag you to an activity that makes you uncomfortable, or that doesn't fit your lifestyle, don't be afraid to say no.

3) Be fun: Friendship is a two way street. Don't expect your friends to plan all the girls' nights. Try being creative. That way they don't feel like you are sucking them dry.

4) Be considerate: If your friends are moms as well, chances are that they have busy schedules just like you. Always put their schedules and lifestyle into consideration when you are planning a trip or a night out. Try to be accommodating so that everyone can join in.

5) Don't be a conflict avoider: If you want to have truly supportive friends, you have to let them know when they step on your toes or rub you the wrong way. Conflict every now and again will actually bring you closer. But if your friend says something upsetting to you, but you pretend like it never happened, then frustration will fester and the friendship will end eventually. Learn how to address issues head on, make up and move on.

If you're looking for an online community of supportive working moms, join us in my private Facebook Group. Click here to join.

What's your favorite way to create friendships?