How to create a solid support system

Motherhood can be lonely. We spend many hours caring for our little ones, which leaves very little time for our needs and likes. Well if you think motherhood is a prison sentence, think again. You can be a mom who takes care of her kids, goes to work and actually has a team of women around you to cheerlead for you and enrich your life. Here’s how:

1)    Figure out what type of support you need: Do you just need girls to hang out with for laughs? Do you need help with daycare on date nights? Do you need a prayer partner? Do you need someone to vent to? Are you looking for professionals in your industry to network with? Do you need someone who has all the answers? Get clear on your needs. I suggest writing it down. Sometimes we say we want a support network but we don’t even know what type of support we need.

 

2)    Look around you: Sometimes the best support is right under your own nose. Your own family members can support you or perhaps direct you to a group you will love. Also dust that cell phone off and go through your contacts list. I am guilty of losing touch with old, good friends. Why not reconnect with some of them? Church is another place to find a mom tribe. It’s just a matter of asking. If you’re not willing to physically meet new people, then go to social media and check out a group that suits your needs. Go online and look for local meetups in your area. Meetup.com is a well-known resource. Facebook has thousands of groups for moms- there are mom groups for women of different professions, mom groups based on religion, mom groups based on interests and hobbies, mom groups based on the ages of your kids, your location, etc. You have many to pick from. Don’t get caught up in picking the best group. Just pick 1.

 

3)    Open Up: Once you’ve picked a community you would like to join, it’s time to put yourself out there. Sometimes we are too scared or embarrassed to reach out to others for support. The fear of judgment and rejection is real. That’s normal. Understand that there are many other moms who are just like you and who are going through similar experiences.  Once you join a new group (virtual or in person) make your presence known. Introduce yourself and let people get to know your strengths. Real friendships are built on transparency. So often our fears are just in our heads. Fear is irrational. Remember that. Part of my work is helping people identify their fears and adjust them.

 

4)    Be a support to others: When we help others, it helps build a sense of accomplishment. We also learn well when we help others. Think of other moms around you who appear lonely, overwhelmed or just ready to make a friend. Reach out to them and see what happens. Isolation could lead to depression.

 

5)    Start your own group: And if you can’t find any mommy meetups and online networking isn’t your thing, why not start a group somewhere in your community? Sure you don’t have 100 free hours a month but you can advertise a book club, wine club, running club, working moms club or whatever your interests are. If there are no groups that suit your needs, just fill in the gap. Chances are there are other women looking to join a group you started.

 

           What is 1 thing you can do this week to begin to build your mom tribe?

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