We all know it. We’ve all felt it. That ugly pang that hits you in the pit of your stomach when you’re about to do something fun. Sometimes it comes like a small, chastising voice in your ear….it’s guilt. It’s that thing that tells you not to get the pedicure because your child needs new shoes. Or it could be a feeling of shame when you go off to the movies without your kids.
Rest assured that Every. Single. Mom has felt it before. Want to know how to kick guilt to the curb finally? You’ve come to the right place. Here are 5 ways to get rid of mommy guilt.
1) Remind yourself that you deserve me time
Mommy guilt often stems from the feeling of not being worthy. Countless moms believe they don’t deserve to put their feet up and park themselves in front of the TV from time to time. Well that’s just WRONG. You work hard and you deserve some relaxation.
Just like workers have the right to take lunch breaks, moms also have the right to recharge and regroup away from their kids. Let’s be honest, if you spend every waking hour with the kids, after a few weeks you WILL go crazy.
2) Find someone trustworthy to watch your kids
One of the biggest challenges I hear from moms who aren’t taking care of themselves, is that they don’t have anyone to watch their kids for a few hours. Well let’s get creative here.
Do you have a responsible friend whom your kids love? Will grandma or grandpa be happy to spoil the kids for a few hours? Do you have a fellow mommy friend who can take your kids for a few hours and then you watch her kids next month while she pampers herself? Can the kids stay home with daddy? Get creative! If you’re desperate enough you could find someone safe to watch your kids every once in a while so you can get your sanity back.
3) Use positive affirmations to strike back at guilt
Life always works in funny ways. Just when you are all dressed up, feeling cute and ready for your night on the town, guilt WILL hit you. You will look at your child’s puppy dog eyes and feel bad that you’re leaving him/her at home. At that moment, stop, take a few steps back and say to yourself, “I deserve this.” Say it until you believe it.
This is the point in which you need to remind yourself that you have nothing to feel guilty about. A mom spending a few hours away from her kids is not a sin. This is your time to be free and relaxed (A relaxed mom is a lot more pleasant).
4) Remember if you’re not taking care of yourself you can’t take care of your kids
An empty well cannot produce clean water. Remember that! If you are running on fumes you will be grouchy, inattentive, tired, upset and you will be a nightmare to be around. But when you spend a few hours a month doing things you love, you will actually be a better mom. Self care recharges and rejuvenates us. Try it and see.
Let’s be honest, what’s the point of spending every waking hour with your kids if you’re in a bad mood all the time?
5) Schedule your me time
If it’s not written down, it won’t happen. So get a sticky note, your calendar, tablet, phone or wherever you pencil in all your kids’ appointments and pencil in a day and time when you would like to go for a manicure, an expedition, a massage, a facial or whatever it is you like to do.
If it’s already written into your calendar then you’re less likely to double book yourself (or make an excuse why you shouldn’t pamper yourself).
So now you have the tools you need to be a guilt free self-care queen. Get your calendar or phone and schedule a few minutes of relaxation.
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