So often I find myself on social media, mindlessly scrolling. Everyone’s feed always looks so perfect. The pictures always have the best lighting, all the moms have perfect bodies and their kids have evergreen smiles. They show their beautiful, spotless homes and beautiful, spotless cars. Life always seems to be going well for them.
And then there’s me. My life is clearly not perfect. My kids don’t always listen to me. My body is a work in progress. My kitchen island has mail, kids’ toys and bills strewn all over it. And please don’t look into my drawers because that’s where I hide all the stuff I don’t want anyone to see.
So how am I able to maintain my self esteem despite all this? Well here’s how I do it:
1) I remind myself that social media is not real: Yup! Most of us only post the best of ourselves (including me). Social media is like the ultimate picture album. We discard the ugly, shadowy pictures and then we take the greatest ones, photo shop them, then pass them through a filter. Who can compete with that?
So as I scroll, I don’t feel bad because I know that the pictures I see are highly stylized. I enjoy their artistic nature and I keep it moving. Once you tell yourself that it’s all smoke and mirrors, it gets easier.
2) I spend more time in reality: If I spent most of my time on social media, I would really lose my mind. I mean I’d surely be depressed. When I’m enjoying my life with my family, I don’t even think of posting those precious moments. I try hard to be mindful and enjoy my kids. My kids don’t know about social media, all they care about is time with their parents. I keep that front and center. Don’t feel like you have to document every moment of your life for the world. You don’t need the validation of strangers on the internet.
Sometimes we spend so much time on social media because we’re trying to fill a void. For some of us, we lose ourselves after we have kids. We have no clue who we are, what we like and what our goals are, so we look to other women. If you’re struggling in that department, download my free self discovery guide here. You don’t have to feel lost.
3) I remind myself of the important things: When comparison wants to creep in, I quickly remind myself that I am blessed. I have 2 healthy kids and 1 healthy husband. All my body parts work, I feel like I’m a pretty good parent and I’ve done a lot of great things and been to a lot of great places. Of course I have days when I don’t feel great about myself, but all in all, I try to bring myself back to the positive.
4) I focus on inspirational people: I’m very thoughtful about whom I follow on social media and who I spend time with in real life. Being an introvert, I only have the energy for a handful of people at a time. So if you make it to my top 5, you’re pretty amazing. I only follow people who talk about positivity and are honest about their daily struggles, because we’re all in this together.
By the way, did you know that I have a Facebook group? It’s called The Happy Working Mom tribe. It’s a space for working moms to support each other through life’s challenges and from time to time, I pop in with amazing trainings on how to balance your life as a working mom. Click here to join.
So mama, how do you avoid the comparison trap?