working mom

Why working after having kids is not against God's design

This week, Nina Dafe from (Faraboverubiescollection.com) is here to bless us with another blog post. This week she will be talking about God’s design for work.


I love my job and my career, but wonder if I will be living contrary to God's design by working full time after having kids? Most of my role models have always aspired to be wives and stay-at-home mums (and even stay-at-home homeschooling mums) - a desire I don't really share.

Can you relate to this question, lovely? If the answer is "yes," please know that you are not alone. I have received this question (or at least a variation of it) more times than I can count from members of the Far Above Rubies Collective (my online community). Here's my take on it:

 A part of the issue with Christian womanhood is how prescriptive people can make it, I feel. This was one of the things that both frustrated and inspired me to launch my website (Faraboverubiescollection.com) in 2016. For example, although I think that being a stay at home mum is and can be a ministry- when I was growing up, my mum didn't have the option to not work as our family's circumstances did not allow that. Women like her should not be made to feel bad or like they are going against God's will if it's simply not feasible for them. I, personally, have many goals and dreams; so I don't see myself necessarily not wanting to work if and when I have children either.

Aside from that:

  • As you saw in last week's blog post, the call to "be fruitful and multiply" is not just about children. This is also a call to be good stewards of the purpose, talents etc that God has called us to (our brain-children, if you will). You can read more about this here.

  • If you check out this post you'll see that the Biblical matriarchs worked, they both had and fulfilled their purposes in God (even as mothers) and that this is not outside the will of God.

  • Not all Biblical mothers, personally taught their children. For example, Hannah's son (Samuel) grew up under Eli (the priest's) tutelage (1st Samuel 1, 2 and 3). This shows that, although there are a great number of reasons why people may prefer to homeschool, it's not necessarily the Biblical standard to do so and someone else may be better suited to aid in your child(ren)'s education.

I was having a conversation with a friend very recently in which I was saying that there are many women feeling that they have no choice but to conform to norms and stereotypes which actually don't suit them or make them unhappy because that's "God's will/design". But God has given us free-will. He actually gives us the very desires of our hearts, according to scripture- meaning that He places our aims, aspirations and personalities within us. So, if working, homeschooling etc are not where your heart lies, I would venture to say that's not what you should be doing, especially not:

  • In the name of a God who calls us to "worship in spirit and in truth"

  • When God says that we are to do things "heartily, as to the Lord and not to men"

But, ultimately, I would say to pray about it, do what's best for you and your family's circumstances and what is within your skill-set.

So ladies, you’ve heard it from Nina. What are your thoughts about working outside the home?

About Nina:

Nina Dafe mentors heart-centred; visionary Christian women who want to banish the blocks keeping them from achieving their business goals once and for all. She is also an international speaker, talk show host and blogger whose writing has been featured on multiple platforms including Thrive Global, TEDx, HuffPost, She Leads Africa, Bustle, Relevant Magazine and Radiant Health Magazine. You can join her Miracle Mindset Makeover free for 7 days now  at: Faraboverubiescollection.com

Why "Be fruitful and multiply" is not just about motherhood

Hello everyone, long time no blog! Today I have a very special treat for you. We have a guest blogger who will be sharing her words of wisdom with us. Her name is Nina Dafe. Just a bit about her. Nina Dafe mentors heart-centred; visionary Christian women who want to banish the blocks keeping them from achieving their business goals once and for all. She is also an international speaker, talk show host and blogger whose writing has been featured on multiple platforms including Thrive Global, TEDx, HuffPost, She Leads Africa, Bustle, Relevant Magazine and Radiant Health Magazine. You can join her Miracle Mindset Makeover free for 7 days now  at: Faraboverubiescollection.com

And now, on to the post!

“Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth’”

However, it also ties in with another spiritual truth- stewardship. If we cross reference Matthew 25:14-30 with Genesis 1:28, parallels between the two can be established. Namely that God acted just as the wealthy man in the Parable of the Talents did at the dawn of creation by creating a great wealth of things, which He initially managed, before employing us as mankind to take over His responsibilities. It is in this way that we, as women, are able to have dominion (the right to control, govern or rule). Therefore, contrary to many cultural and religious beliefs (including my own) and like the servants in Matthew 25, one of the mandates of the original woman (and therefore women at large) was to rule with men. To reiterate the afore-mentioned scripture, it begins:

“Then God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply…’” (boldness added for emphasis)

The directives that follow (“fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth”) show that this scripture is not purely about reproduction, but stewardship. It is therefore important that we get an understanding of:

  • What the principles of stewardship are

  • What exactly we are stewards over

  • How to be effective stewards for God

Because what we do with our call to rule can either positively impact our lives, giving us the life of our dreams, or negatively impact it, creating the stuff of nightmares! Also, our lives are not our own. We are called to do God’s will and, without a proper understanding of what that is, we can disqualify ourselves from fulfilling the thing(s) that God has called us to. There are souls attached to our purpose, let us not end up with blood on our hands due to a lack of basic understanding of everything that this encompasses.

If you are interested in being mentored by a woman of God who knows the word through and through, then Nina is the person for you. Her blog brings scripture to life in a truly meaningful way.

Thanks Nina for sharing your words of wisdom with The Happy Working Mom Tribe.




Creating a healthy marriage as a busy working mom

Creating a healthy marriage as a busy working mom

Marriage is tough. No one has to tell you that. You love your spouse with all your heart, but sometimes, he annoys you to the high heavens! And sometimes, Valentine's Day packs the pressure on. Are you supposed to buy something for your spouse every single year? How are you supposed to be creative? What if you're too busy or too tired to do something special? And what expectations are you supposed to have?

Well, forget Valentine's Day. Here are some simple tips to keep your marriage fresh and exciting all year long.

How to get a lot done in a short amount of time

How to get a lot done in a short amount of time

Most working moms have the same struggle- you have tons to accomplish, but you never have enough time. After a long day of work, you have to still cook dinner, clean the house, prep for the next day and somehow find time to bond with your family. Well here are some tips to help you get stuff done even though you don't have time.

4 Ways to avoid losing your identity

When I first became a mom, I threw myself into my mom duties really hard. I was young and determined to ensure that I was going to be the best mom ever. But the problem was that I totally neglected my needs to the point where I looked at myself in the mirror and could not recognize myself. Have you ever wondered why moms lose their identity? Well here's my take:

1) Take the time to shift your mindset: When you become a mom, it's important to realize that your life is going to change. Your life is no longer your own, you will get less sleep, you can't just pick up and leave whenever you want, your body will change in ways you never imagined and on and on it goes.

Now instead of fighting to maintain the identity you had before, realize that life as you know it has changed. Lean into your new identity, and find new ways to enjoy your new life. Yes you can't just pick up and go, so plan activities around your baby. Can't go to the movies? Plan an in home movie experience. Can't go to a concert? Invite some people over for a dance session when the baby is asleep. Find new things you like, try new experiences and let go of the old you. It's a lot easier that you think, I promise.

2) Get to know yourself: So of course the moment you become a mom, your life changes-we all know that. But you spend so much time being fixated on your new, sweet baby that you forget to create space for yourself. Motherhood changes us. Spend time creating new interests for yourself that can fit into your new schedule. It takes some getting used to but if you don't connect with yourself, you'll eventually wake up one morning and not know who you are.

3) Find other mom friends to connect with: When I became a mom, I found myself feeling isolated and frustrated. I felt like I had no one to talk to, all of my non mom friends could not relate to my struggles. Eventually I just gave up and decided to live in my own misery. Now what I should have done is, I should have persisted, and I should have found one or two moms who clicked with me. Isolation does you no good.

4) Don't struggle silently: So when you're having those difficult nights when your baby isn't sleeping, your breastmilk isn't coming out and you're just not feeling cute, say that to someone. This is how you can form connections with others. When you share your problems with others, you'll realize that they too might be going through the same thing.

What steps can you take to avoid losing your identity?